Perspective Through the Storm

If this is my story, what is the name for the app that will give me the perspective to be able to keep pushing forward?

After cancer treatment, three surgeries, chemotherapy, and the difficulties of it all, I got fired, then I was asked to move out, and another friend vanished on me. I could not take it anymore; I was done, and at the same time, I knew I would take it and would eventually figure it out. Did I want more? No! Did I get more? Of course I did.

Within a week, I moved to a new flat and the landlord agreed to the tenancy despite I did not have a job right then - quite difficult in general but more so in England. The previous landlady denied the money for the rest of the month when she had in writing agreed to refund it. I was so cautious; still I got another layer and filed a small claim, which after a month or two I won. As for my job, they paid for the firing in pounds. I got money, they got hassle and less money than before; I feel I won too.

I was afraid I would have a car accident or lose my phone, as those were the only two things untouched by the trail of suffering in the most ordinary sense of the word. I did get grief from the older lady at the house, despite I chose to help her every time she asked. And then when I got sick, she lashed out and became my worst enemy, even though I held her when she cried, helped with the language barrier when drafting documents or emails, set up the blinds, and made claims for it with the company that supplied them. I have always helped when someone has asked, and sometimes they did not even ask (the main problem) - but I have learned that now.

I eventually gave up a bit, chose to stop fighting the survival fight, and left the UK temporarily. I applied for citizenship, got my passport, and then went home with mum for about three months to breathe, try to focus my attention on cancer not coming back, and find balance in my mind. A lot has happened since then, and I am okay, still building myself. Knowing more, I guess, but all those challenges were presented to me because I needed to show myself how capable I am and how it does not matter how black it is; it can get even darker.

I did shout, "Bring it on." I wrote a positive post and stuck it to my screen on my desktop. I wanted to fight because I needed to believe there was an end to it. Let me tell you, there is no end. There are moments of joy, and you had better realise what those look like, recognise them, and take them all in as there is no way to bring them back; as with the bad ones, they are temporary.

En espanol, "se lo que es..." comes to say I know how you feel; I have suffered through it, and I can tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel. Let's keep going. I do not know what you are going through, but when I went through the same it sucked, and I am sorry you have to go through it too (que horrible que hayas tenido que experimentarlo).

App that keeps me going: watnow.netlify.app